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Home \ BS in paragliding
Nick Wisser did a great job of deciphering the advertisements , but didn't cover the crap that spews from the mouths of dealers. In my (admittedly short) career as a glider distributor, I've witnessed enough acts of greed and stupidity, and heard enough lies, falsehoods and unadulterated bullshit to fill a novel. Some of it relates to a lack of fresh information, and relying on what was (half) true ten years ago. Some of it is unmitigated superstition or profit-driven lies. Lacking the time to lay it all out, these are merely some of the dumbest and most recent...
| The line | The reality |
| It's a very safe glider | No one has actually died on one (yet, but there was a rash of hospitalizations...) |
| All DHV1 and 1-2 gliders are suitable for training | All DHV1 and most 1-2 gliders used to be suitable for training... |
| It's a DHV1-2... | It has an aspect ratio less than 6:1, it looks like a DHV1-2!! |
| It's a DHV2... | It's AFNOR Performance and might pass DHV2... or 2-3.... or 3.... |
| It's a DHV2-3.. | It's AFNOR Performance, and the last glider I saw that was AFNOR Performance was a DHV2-3... but then, I can't actually read the placard. Anyone have a dictionary? |
| It's an Intermediate glider.. | It's a DHV2-3 |
| It's made from the best materials | I have no idea what it's made of, some kind of nylon I think. Nice color though eh? |
| All the European pilots are crazy about this wing | All the European pilots run for their lives when the demos come out the back of the dealer's van. |
| DHV2 gliders are perfectly safe for Novices, even some talented beginners | Some DHV2 gliders used to be perfectly safe for Novices, even some talented beginners. Now many of them aren't even suitable for Intermediate pilots. |
| East European gliders are every bit as good as those made by the Germans or the Swiss | A few East European gliders are every bit as good as those made by the Germans or the Swiss. |
| Tandems can be flown solo, and vice versa quite safely | Tandems can be flown solo, and vice versa... if you are one fat bastard or two really skinny ones... and don't mind the extra risk. |
| It's a DHV1, but it goes 52km/h!! | It's a DHV1, and it goes 46km/h, at 1:1 glide. |
| It's a DHV1-2, but it goes 52km/h!! | It's a DHV1-2, and it goes 48km/h, at 1.5:1 glide. |
| Bigger gliders are better | Bigger gliders are better, if you measure value in dollars per kilo of nylon. |
| This is the best training site in the country | I live just down the road. |
| Paragliding is just a hobby and shouldn't be taken too seriously | Paragliding is a form of aviation and should be taken every bit as seriously. |
| I've sold a lot of these gliders | I've sold a lot of these gliders to guys who were as gullible as you look. |
| It's the best glider in my range | It's the most profitable glider in my range |
| (to a beginner) You can fly a high-performance glider, but just be careful on it | Wrong...and what's the point of that anyway? |
| Of course this glider will work with your current harness!! | Of course this glider will work with your current harness, I think the colors match very nicely! |
| Bigger reserves are better, they give a lower sink rate | Bigger reserves give a lower sink rate, once they open... |
Please feel free to send in your nominations for this section
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